LISTEN very carefully, I will say this only once!

The stage version of BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo! will be performed by Harden Players next month.

The TV show portrayed the increasingly-convoluted adventures of cafe owner Rene in German-occupied France during the Second World War.

Rene had a wife who couldn’t sing, several mistresses, a frequent visitor from the French Resistance, and a couple of British airmen in the attic.

His cafe played host to a host of Germans, from the bumbling Colonel Von Strohm to the sinister Herr Flick, and a policeman with a very bad French accent occasionally dropped in.

The TV show began in 1982 and over the next 10 years ran to 85 episodes.

The stage version features all the well-known characters and closely follows the plot of the TV version.

Rene is reluctantly helping both the Germans and the Resistance while hiding the famous painting The Fallen Madonna inside a knackwurst sausage.

Harden Players’ production features Mark Coulthard as Rene and Sheila Driver as Edith, and it is directed by Keighley Amateurs panto king and long-time Harden Players member Peter Whitley.

The play will be performed on the evenings of October 2, 3, 4, 9, 10 and 11. Tickets are available from Harden Post Office.