I DON’T want to sound like some harrumphing colonel or Paul Hollywood in the baking world, but what is happening to our Great British Biscuit?

I didn't fight in two world wars (figuratively speaking) to see the mighty wheat digestive, the feisty gingernut and not forgetting the gregarious garibaldi supplanted by cookies the size of Mo Farah's Olympic gold medals being decorated with flipping smarties!

Are we meant to eat them, or drill a hole through them and hang them around our necks?

I blame the American coffee chains for this.

They come over here, interfere with our milk in our coffee and bamboozle us with transatlantic gibberish when all we want is a bun and a nice cup of coffee.

They ask: “Do you want skinny or full-fat scum on that sir?”.

And when you ask for a cup of tea, they ask ''medium or large sir?'' then have the cheek to charge us an extra 50p for pouring another half-pint of tepid water over a sad-looking teabag in a paper cup.

Now when it comes to something to nibble on that really gets my back-up, give me a wholesome British bicky from a packet any day over these pumped-up, showboating, faux-bakery items.

Our best-loved biscuits are quiet, restrained, delicious, designed for a few moments of private pleasure when the kids are in bed and the wife is at bingo rather than for gluttonous excess.

If you want a little extra, there's always the chocolate digestive or the racy Bourbon.

These unassuming classics are low-maintenance too, resting discreetly at the bottom of the biscuit barrel all ready to go for a mid-morning brew or afternoon Scooby snack.

Now you must understand I'm not saying there's no place for more indulgent, treaty biscuits.

I'm just saying most attempts to occupy that space in the commercial sector are a tragic-comedy of style over content and a huge disappointment... in short, a total rip-off.

Now, if you want to go beyond the biscuit barrel or aisle 22 of the supermarket, it’s far better to bake a batch of biscuits yourself now and again.

You'll be surprised how easy it is, and my jammy biscuit recipe is a really good one to try out. It's as easy as they come, and do enlist the kids to help you without fear of cookie cock-ups.

They’re going going to love getting messy in the kitchen making these delicious retro thumbprint classics as I did as a youngster, especially adding a good dollop of my favourite jams.

This childhood Be-Ro classic will guarantee to leave long-lasting ''thumbprint'' memories and well worth searching the fridge for the opened jam pots.

And finally, getting off my high-horse, I must not forget we have some wonderful tearooms around the Keighley area to try out and support!

• Have you missed any of Baker Mike’s previous Friend In Need columns and want to try this out some of his old recipes? If so, visit keighleynews.co.uk, click on What’s On then Food & Drink.