ROSES are red, violets are blue... love it or loathe it, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching folks!

I will spend it as usual in a bath of ewe’s milk, in a candlelit room, drinking champagne, followed by a romantic meal with my wife and cosy viewing of Titanic in front of a roaring fire while eating Turkish Delight chocolates.

Finished off by a sensuous massage, an early night following a trail of rose petals and fresh flowers scattered on the bed with soft teddy toys...

That’s my day sorted, then - you must be joking!

I don’t take Valentine Day too seriously these days. We may get each other cards, if we remember.

But if someone forgets, there’s no hard feelings and I still get my tea on time.

We also avoid going out for a romantic Valentine meal, figuring we can get better service at home without a stupid prix-fixe menu and pretending to be having a good time while listening to the walrus of love guru Barry White playing in the background.

We usually just consider our Valentine meal as an excuse to cook sausages and chips for tea rather than buying a tenner meal deal for two from the supermarket.

This is followed by a stupidly-simple-to-make pudding, something that takes minutes to muster up and not a warehouse of ingredients to make.

So for this year’s Valentine party for two, to swoon your sweetheart away with a pud, I have a chocolate melt-your-heart mug cake that will spare her the ordeal of pretending to like the poem you’ve written in her card!

So what is a mug cake?

I have to say the only thing more satisfying than cake, is... cake cooked in minutes with minimal weighing and washing up.

But you do need a microwave oven to ensure that the usual suspects from cake recipes work, create that perfect soft texture. You also want the satisfyingly-indulgent piling of spoonfuls of sugar and flour into little mugs of heaven, instead of a whole cake.

This pudding is a chocoholic’s dream – you can wait in front of the microwave oven with your spoons ready to serve with fresh cream and strawberries, or a big scoop of ice cream.

So you see, mugs are not just for drinking tea, coffee or soup from - I will be wearing my heart on my sleeve this Valentine’s Day as always.

Cupid’s bow and arrow aren’t just for show you know – I must be doing something right after 32 years of marriage!